This site gives you that opportunity. It is also a teaching site. I guarantee you will learn coping skills that will help you move on in your life. Equally important, as you move on, you, too, will become a "teacher," sharing your experiences and helping others. Since the "club" of widowed people keeps expanding, newly bereaved widows and widowers especially need help, encouragement and comfort, let's do it together!
WIDOWHOOD: WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT
I suggest that you think of widowhood as a time to approach two doors. The first has a large question mark on it; the second has a large exclamation point on it. Behind the first door, the one with the question mark, there are eight stages of grief…shock, denial, guilt, anger, fear, worry, anxiety and depression. Plus days and nights of loneliness. Doubts about what life is all about. Is life for the widowed ended? How does one endure this new stage of existence?
Behind the second door, the one with the exclamation point, are new, unchartered horizons, new opportunities for continuing on the journey of life. How best to choose which door to enter. I suggest that you ask your deceased spouse. Which door would she or he wants me to enter?
Speaking from personal experience, this little exercise works.
Every day when I awaken to a new day's opportunity, I look at my list of things to do that day. Life's activities are both large and small. But even the smallest can bring joy to someone. Make a conscious effort to achieve peace of mind by adhering to a plan of function and effort. "Giving love" is the most wonderful gift you can give to someone. Giving love can be both spontaneous and carefully orchestrated. For instance, who have you not spoken to for a while? Who needs cheering up? Who needs a helping hand to accomplish something they can't do alone?
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